“You’re a Mom” Is Not a Diagnosis
It happened once more, just a year or so ago.
I was at the doctor’s, complaining of low energy. He looked at my chart and saw that I have two small children, at the time ages three and four, and I saw his answer to me in his eyes before he even said it.
Dude, no, I thought, please don’t go there. Don’t say it.
He said it: “Well I mean, you’re a mom. Of course you’re tired.”
I sighed. This again.
Here’s the thing: moms everywhere are tired, don’t get me wrong. Most of us are exhausted from having to be parents and partners and friends and whole-people, especially after a worldwide pandemic pushed us to take on more roles than usual. I’ve made no secret of the fact that I’m sick of all of the pressure that’s put on parents — mothers especially — to be everything to their children and to “have it all.” That’s not a thing. And trying to achieve it is exhausting. So yes, I get it.
But I wasn’t complaining about wanting to pass out at the end of the day, or emotional exhaustion, or even that want for a nap in the middle of the day after not sleeping well the night before. What I had was worse than that.
Each morning, I’d wake up at 6:30 AM still tired, drink (often highly-caffeinated) tea to wake up enough to homeschool my kids, and then…
